A survey of UK dads who look after disabled children has highlighted that fathers aren’t getting the support they need and are left feeling marginalized. The survey shows that they are doing all they can to be involved but face hurdles every step of the way.
Two-thirds have relationship problems while 15 per cent keep their child a secret from their employers.
They want their voices to be heard, to be given more consideration in terms of support and to be acknowledged as having an important role as a parent, on a par with their female counterparts.
Netbuddy and Scope, two national charities working to give carers and families the support they need, joined forces on the research project.
Entitled Dad and Me, the aim is to raise awareness of the issues.
They questioned 500 father carers during April 2012 and asked what they think about the support systems in place for them and how they are coping. They talked to dads with children of all ages.
One dad said: “I feel utterly isolated and condemned to a life of futility and hopelessness.”
Deborah Gundle, who set up Netbuddy as a mum carer to bring families and professionals together to share help and advice, says the results makes for difficult reading.
“We wanted to highlight the important role that dad carers have, but to realise the extent of the problems dads are facing has been overwhelming,” she said. “Even I had not considered the extent of dads’ involvement – both emotionally and practically – and it is commonly the case that mothers are assumed to take all the responsibilities of caring on board.
“It is time that society opened its eyes and took action to give better support to fathers with disabled children. At the moment, they just aren’t getting the help they need.”
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